A Chocolate Covered Classic for a ChoCoClaser: Andrew’s Somerville

By Andrew Luk / Boston

Japonaise Bakery
Located in The Porter Exchange
1032 Commonwealth Ave
Boston, MA 02215
(617) 738-7200

Yes, this is very much a “being Asian” thing. Let me break it down for you.

Imagine emigrating to Uzbekistan and never being able to have a Slim Jim ever again. Furthermore the only Uzbek equivalent is chewy goat rectum. What a devastating blow! My friend, I too have a similar plight.

In Asia, there are no fortune cookies, crab rangoons are unheard of, and neither General Gao nor any of his similarly spelled pseudonyms has ever invented a sauce. However, in Somerville there exists a isotopically pure gem of Japanese cuisine within the chewy rectal goat mountain that is this bastardized Sino-American edible culture.

Japonaise Bakery, my figurative Slim Jim in a foreign land, is the real thing. The chain has three locations to it’s name, and prides itself on authentic fresh baked goods and contains a convenience store candy isle from across the Pacific. Namely, they’re stocked with mouthwatering breads, pastries, cakes, candy of all kinds, cookies, drinks, and my personal coup de grace, Poky!

Tags: Boston, Candy, Easter, My City, Pastries, Somerville